Draft in the author’s style. This poem was written for Poet of Bedtime Hush to sit beside the author’s own readings, and is waiting for the author’s review. The commentary is a working draft too.
At nine o'clock a whistle blew, so faint I barely knew,
It was the Dream Train rolling in on rails of silver dew.
Its carriages were painted with the colours of the night,
And its windows were the little moons that glowed with gentle light.
The conductor wore a nightcap and a coat of midnight blue,
And he punched my ticket softly with a star he had in view.
We rolled across the sleepy fields and over rivers wide,
Past castles made of pillows and a sea of sleeping tide.
We stopped at Lullaby Station where the lanterns hum a song,
And the porters carry teddy bears whose journeys aren't so long.
The wheels went clickety-clack, clickety-clack, slower with each mile,
Till the whistle turned to a whisper and the whisper to a smile.
I woke up in my bedroom with the sunrise on the wall,
And my ticket was a feather from the dreaming train's last call.
Poet of Bedtime Hush · Hear it on the channel ↗
Commentary
Bedtime is a journey in this poem, and the vehicle is a train that runs only at night. Its route crosses fields, rivers and pillow castles before it delivers the sleeper back to morning.
At nine o’clock “a whistle blew,” and “the Dream Train” arrives “on rails of silver dew.” Its windows are “little moons,” and the conductor in “a coat of midnight blue” punches the ticket “with a star.” The train crosses “sleepy fields,” “rivers wide” and “castles made of pillows.”
At “Lullaby Station,” lanterns hum and porters carry “teddy bears.” The wheels go “clickety-clack, clickety-clack, slower with each mile” until “the whistle turned to a whisper and the whisper to a smile.” The speaker wakes to sunrise holding “a feather.”